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BrokenDollette
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Name: Keira
Gender: Female
Interests: Reading, knitting, classics, punk, alternative, rock, liberality, couture, shiny jewellery
Expertise: insanity
Occupation: local eccentric
Industry: society
Message: message me
Member Since:
9/15/2007
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| Through much self reflection, based mostly off this morning. I realized I do not regret any of my actions. They made me the person I am today, and while I may self-depreciate myself occasionally, I honestly do love myself. I love the person I am. I wish others could see that, but (alas) they are not always as enlightened.
Now I must study for a math test I'm terrified I shall fail. | | |
| Just when my bulimia seems to be an ugly stain in my past, it rears it's ugly head. Today I purged quite a lot. A stomach full of ice cream, peanut butter, peas (the beginning of the binge) and then the boca bratwurst and cookie from lunch. Not to mention i'm sure a few portions of flesh/blood probably found their way into the toilet along with my lunch and snack. | | |
| My life is ridiculous. Do you doubt me? See what I did last night.
Half a line of coke for the first time because I'd never done it before.
Multiple games of beer pong, I've stopped trying to count how much I drink.
A third of a bowl, when I was hiccuping I was so drunk.
I vaguely remember getting back to my dorm. I know I was so drunk that I couldn't walk straight. I vaguely remember convincing myself I had to puke. And trying to do so in the waste basket. I think I remember my roomate telling me to go to the hospital...
Hmm, must talk to L to figure out what happened. | | |
| So my facebook stalker proposed to me. Um....what the fuck? I'm 19! L just thinks it's a good story. Personally I'm creeped out. Another bizarre event in my life. Being proposed to before I've ever had serious boyfriend.
Also, as I am now on academic probation, I have to see a counselor. Er, psychologist because the reason I gave for dropping chinese was that I was too tired to go to class. The fatigue was a result of my fucked up brain. Not being able to get out of bed = relapse of depression.
Tragically my psychologist is adorable. About 35 and he went to school near where I live. He has a perfect beard (I'm a sucker for cute beards). Of course he just knows me as some pathetic college student. Ah, ma vie! | | |
| Thank god i'm going home tomorrow. I don't know how much more i can take. I'm trying to brace myself to inform my parents that i've let them down. I'm just waiting to be turned out of the house, or sent to a "special house". I wish I could succeed, could realize my dreams.
In other news, I have a semi-stalker. Possibly two. Fucking internet. Fucking me. Is this world really so hopeless that the sound of friendship is so easily misinterpreted as interest? Can people no longer recognize friendship between sexes as genuine friendship and not the product of sexual tension? | | |
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